Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
