I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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