Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.

Fav 27 1299 6353
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.

Fav 22 5806 994
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.

Fav 5 2979 1000
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.

Fav 16 1751 3934
share tweet
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(305): View more from Florida

We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well

Fav 8 3453 1749
share tweet
(613): View more from Ontario

I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.

Fav 9 3682 1271
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(210): View more from Texas

well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry

Fav 6 949 1545
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?

Fav 0 78 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.

Fav 1 75 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT