Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference

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  (248): apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference http://tfl.nu/k6zm
  Replies (33) Good night (6743) Bad night (1329)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.

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  (239): At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit. http://tfl.nu/fc4g
  Replies (35) Good night (9158) Bad night (732)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor

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  (937): she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor http://tfl.nu/fo1n
  Replies (51) Good night (617) Bad night (7444)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light

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  (734): i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light http://tfl.nu/t30l
  Replies (11) Good night (2688) Bad night (3438)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

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  (732): its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time http://tfl.nu/vuuh
  Replies (57) Good night (1136) Bad night (7816)
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  (716): View more from New York

  she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"

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  (716): she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you" http://tfl.nu/sv8k
  Replies (41) Good night (4685) Bad night (8986)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.

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  (202): I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her. http://tfl.nu/d96s
  Replies (15) Good night (3082) Bad night (5788)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?

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  (937): how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on? http://tfl.nu/yug9
  Replies (16) Good night (5003) Bad night (1013)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.

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  (724): All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough. http://tfl.nu/tdyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1182) Bad night (1784)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...

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  (970): He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree... http://tfl.nu/exvr
  Replies (8) Good night (2370) Bad night (804)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.

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  (713): I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me. http://tfl.nu/01pr
  Replies (6) Good night (1318) Bad night (766)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship

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  (508): I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship http://tfl.nu/b7qc
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (398)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women

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  (808): there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women http://tfl.nu/4eji
  Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding

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  (563): What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me (1-563): You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding http://tfl.nu/u1iy
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world

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  (716): she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world http://tfl.nu/4gui
  Replies (5) Good night (780) Bad night (310)

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