he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
