Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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