I accidentally burped into my bong.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?