Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth

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(704): I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth http://tfl.nu/9h3z

Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (2702)
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(630): View more from Illinois

That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.

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(630): That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it. http://tfl.nu/khhu

Replies (12) Good night (647) Bad night (3184)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time

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(308): yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time http://tfl.nu/mn2j

Replies (32) Good night (5188) Bad night (2452)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

(828): View more from North Carolina

Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

(864): View more from South Carolina

Previous statement retracted.

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(864): If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay. (828): Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner (864): Previous statement retracted. http://tfl.nu/e7pe

Replies (46) Good night (13425) Bad night (1307)
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(804): View more from Virginia

just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.

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(804): just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it. http://tfl.nu/xnwu

Replies (10) Good night (1084) Bad night (4473)
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(850): View more from Florida

i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...

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(850): i did the responsible thing and pissed myself... http://tfl.nu/5qb4

Replies (6) Good night (1119) Bad night (2923)
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(530): View more from California

If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...

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(530): If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good... http://tfl.nu/ucmp

Replies (14) Good night (2109) Bad night (2957)
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(404): View more from Georgia

i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.

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(404): i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college. http://tfl.nu/cy12

Replies (4) Good night (3466) Bad night (1384)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''

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(608): all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!'' http://tfl.nu/g7vx

Replies (22) Good night (7198) Bad night (893)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before

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(856): Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before http://tfl.nu/gngt

Replies (5) Good night (678) Bad night (575)
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(260): View more from Indiana

Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.

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(260): Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given. http://tfl.nu/4cnf

Replies (9) Good night (1867) Bad night (487)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Who is our new insurance provider?

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(978): FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning. (978): Who is our new insurance provider? http://tfl.nu/a2lj

Replies (3) Good night (761) Bad night (254)
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(817): View more from Texas

apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon

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(817): apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon http://tfl.nu/fh3y

Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (300)
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(817): View more from Texas

I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.

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(817): I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up. http://tfl.nu/9qtu

Replies (9) Good night (1039) Bad night (319)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.

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(217): Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill. http://tfl.nu/rrda

Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (441)

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