My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.