Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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