woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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