I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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