I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just had sex bonerless
My pussy is not your playground.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize
