put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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