I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
