their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
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Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
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I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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