Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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