So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
