...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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