oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
its not stalking. its research.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
