I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
