Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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