OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I did not marry a roomba.
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