what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's rum buckets o'clock
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
