sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize