community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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