Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize