Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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