thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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