I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
