love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Randomize
