What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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