if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize