Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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