this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just want to make out with him forever
I am naked and annoyed.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
