I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
worst night to have a conscience
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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