my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
