What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
