Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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