Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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