what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
