Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
