I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
