If i come over, it means nothing
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
