For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm having to shit out rocks
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
