It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
