Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
