you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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