genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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