Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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