I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
