But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
