i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
