Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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