I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
