my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
