dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
