Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
