broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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