I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
what day is it and did you see me today?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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