Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If I die, sorry about rent.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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