Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize