I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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