chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
