You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
