he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
