That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
