Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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