Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
