dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
