Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
