yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize