Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
