Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
